You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
