I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
