i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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