this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
