Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
