I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
