I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
MIDGETS
????
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
