Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
