I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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