I want to stick my p in your. b.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
