we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
