apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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