Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Found your dick twin last night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
