im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
