i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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