Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
