nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
