apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
