im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize