part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
