someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
