If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
