im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
