She is in my trunk
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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