I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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