im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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