I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
