i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
