You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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