i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
vagina is talking i cant
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
