Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
