Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
