You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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