yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
