Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
