If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
