i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I understand Curling. That high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
