I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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