East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
