She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
