i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he fucked my hip out of place.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
