Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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