a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
