Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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