let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
