East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
