may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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