Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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