She is in my trunk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
