I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
