I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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