She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's always time for handjobs
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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