God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
